Wisdom Woes

I had all four of my wisdom teeth removed last Friday. I feel compelled to chronicle my saga of pain and torture for posterity.

Friday - Day 1
Around 7:45, I go in for surgery. After a short wait, they lead me into a small room and have me lay on a table shaped ominously like a coffin. They load me up with laughing gas (nitrous oxide, something that my mind will not let me forget, repeating it constantly as I descend into the realm of borderline insanity), and once the nurses get themselves organized and the oral surgeon comes in, I'm high as a kite and tingling all over. The surgeon takes the time to locate my vein, compelling me to crack an incoherent joke about how there is probably a good deal of them, and once he inserts the IV (which I can't really feel at this point), I feel a spray up my arm and slowly lose consciousness. The last thing I hear before I'm out cold is my regulated breath and a swallow, along with the fading noise of obnoxious 80's music in the background.

Needless to say, it was quite a trip.

Next thing I know, I'm awake, with a piece of bloodied gauze sticking from my mouth. A nurse guides me to a reclining chair in a little nook adjacent to the OR, and lets me sit there for a while as my gums bleed profusely. Not long after, she guides another poor, unfortunate soul into the chair next to me, and I sit mumbling to myself, leafing through an outdated People magazine as the anesthesia wears off. After what seems like 10 minutes, I'm lead out into the waiting room again, given over to my bemused parents. Despite the fact that my lip is extremely numb and I have a large amount of cotton shoved in my cheeks, I feel generally unfazed, and get home without much problem.

By the time I do get home, however, the numbness had started to fade, and pain was slowly rearing its ugly head. My mother gives me the heavy pain pill, and for a while, I seem to be all right, despite having to change my gauze about 5 or 6 times over the next 3 or so hours.

Then, it hits.

Suddenly, I find myself to be overcome by pain. Strangely enough, it wasn't exactly painful, but something in my head was screaming "DO NOT WANT". I lay on the couch, moaning and whimpering, completely lost in a whirlwind of aching, but a few ibuprofens later, I managed to knock myself out. Beyond that, everything was pretty much a blur until I fell asleep about 8 hours later.

Saturday - Day 2
By this point, the bleeding had pretty much stopped. I had ditched the ones I had in my mouth overnight, and they were surprisingly not very bloody. And this is where my story gets pretty boring. From this point until about Monday afternoon, I did practically nothing of consequence, aside from lay around and play video games or watch Spongebob Squarepants reruns. The only thing of real significance I did was go to see Coraline, which, by the way, is a fantastic movie. Maybe I'll write a review...

Anyways, I made the switch from the heavy pain meds to the Vicodin (because everyone wants to be House), as the pain had finally downgraded to an annoying ache rather than a scalpel stuck in my gums. I also started the penicillin, but that's not really that interesting, is it?

Also, I wouldn't recommend combining vicodin with ibuprofen. It made me feel extremely spacey.

Sunday - Day 3
The pain slowly faded, but it was definitely still around. Aside from that, the whole of Sunday was practically a blur. I basically did the same thing I did on Saturday, just with my face a little less puffy. Despite this, by the end of the day, I was absolutely drained. Of course, I hadn't even bothered to think about homework... Oh well...

Monday - Day 4
By this point, I was feeling relatively normal. My face still hurt and it still pretty much bound my jaw shut, but at least I could walk around and eat somewhat normally. However, it was pretty clear that my diet had been thrown for a loop, as I managed to down 3 applesauces within a period of about 2 hours after already eating at least something hourly.

The worst part of this day, however, was realizing I had homework. Luckily, I managed to annotate my 8 sources for a research paper, read 20 pages in my World History book, and read 30 pages of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (a very good book which I already read before) before midnight. Even I astound myself sometimes.

Tuesday - Day 5
So, here I am, writing this blog post on the 5th day post-surgery. Right now, I'm a little out of it as the ibuprofen I took earlier today has long since worn off, but despite the lingering swelling, I feel at least decent.

Despite the potential for milkshakes and ice cream, I really wouldn't recommend using your wisdom teeth as a means of satisfying your sweet tooth. Half the time, you're either in too much pain or asleep from the pain medication to even want to think about the Chic-Fil-A Cookies and Cream milkshake or bowl of Black Jack Cherry ice cream in front of you. No matter how much your friends and family try to sugar coat it, it's not a fun experience. Though I would recommend anesthesia. That was quite a ride.